My Life: Wife, Mother, Attorney, Child of God

Regaining a Sense of Identity

2011-03-19T20:31:00.001-07:00

I have been somewhat ambling through life as of late. I realized after talking to some very wise gals at my small group that I do not feel a sense of purpose or identity anymore, which is an altogether new feeling to me. I have really prayed about this and sought God and I now believe and am convinced that I have lost my identity in Christ. Not that I have lost Christ but I have forgotten where my true purpose and self lies. I am not sure if anyone else feels this way.

Especially for women, I think it becomes hard when we become wives and then later mothers. It seem that for me I put so much work and effort into my marriage and my children that I started believing that my identity was just that and only that.

That saddens me in some respects because I have kind of lost myself. This year I am attempting to realign my identity with Christ and to recapture some of my old passions that I used to have in Him.

Hopefully as I reevaluate myself and truly and passionately seek God and seek to find my identity, my passion for being a wife and a mother will reignite.

(P.S. I do not say this to mean I do not passionately love my husband or my children. I love them with everything. But I have realized that I must first find God and my passion for God above all else)

Regaining a sense of joy

2010-01-04T12:27:00.000-08:00

I wrote that my new years resolution is to seek God wherever he may be found becuase in Jeremiah 29 God says that he will be found by me if I seek him with my whole heart.

This past year was a very trying year for my family to say the least as many know. And I will say that soemtimes I sought God well and sometimes I yelled a God a lot. Either way, the times that I truly sought God with my whole heart, He was found by me.

Well it seems that I have began again to leave that road and to try and solve my problems on my own terms. And I think that it has left me wanting...more from my life.

I think the place I need to start is centered in God... I need to seek God completely so that I can find myself totally enveloped within his sphere and not He in my sphere so to speak...

So again this year I am attempting to not only seek God with part of me... but with my whole being so that I can be found by him and I can find him...

I don't know what that means... and it is kind of scary because his plans may not be my plans but I have to trust that his plans are better and infinitely full of more blessings.

Where are the boys now...

2008-05-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

Well,

Hayden is now 20 months (almost 2). I cannot believe it. He is starting to talk a lot and is very bold about what he wants. We are now seeing his true personality, and it is so exciting to kind of get to know this new little man. He is the blondest brownest eyed boy i have seen. We absolutely love him. He is very musical and loves to sing and play the piano. He even tries to sing on key. He loves birds and our two dogs. He sits on them and hugs them non-stop.

Noah is 3 1/2. He is very sweet. Today I have a cold and he was trying to get me water to make sure I was feeling ok. He gets me flowers from the yard everyday and insists that I wear them in my hair. Noah is very obstinate sometimes though. I'm not sure if it's age, personality or both. But I think if matured, it will serve him well when he is older.

Eli - my husband and sometimes third child - is everything. He is in school for counseling, and is still working in case management. He is trying to learn contentment in his job and is praying through that issue with much fervor. I hope that God will bring him to completion on that. He is the best husband and father I could ever have asked for. He takes care of us with his whole self, and for that I am grateful and thankful...

Pray for us as we decide where we are going and as we seek God's will for our lives.

Staying in Shape

2008-05-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

Well

I went for my checkup and I have put on a few pounds. Which I guess is not a big deal except that I have been eating poorly the last few months and I have not been running.

Well all that is going to change. A friend of mine who just had her 3rd baby is already preparing to run a mini-triathlon. And I guess if she can do it, than all of my excuses are pretty lame. I want to be healthy -- not just thin. I want to set the best example for my children and my husband.

So as of now, I am back on the healthy eating regime and exercise regime too.

Not So Good

2008-01-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

Today Eli and I got into a fight about money. I guess this demonstrates our lack of faith in God and our lack of discipline in areas of finances. I am asking all my friends and family who read this blog to pray for Eli and I as we try to get back on track with our relationship with God and Each other, as we attempt to demonstrate and exercise discipline in our finances and for prayer that our jobs will provide us with the money we need to get back on track financially.

Christmas 2007

2007-12-28T21:07:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

Christmas was amazing this year. Eli and I spent it with my family. Some of my aunts and uncles and my grandparents came over in addition to all the immediate family. Noah, who is now 3 years old, was excited about baby Jesus and Santa this year. Hayden had fun ripping the wrapping paper to shreds and then tasting the pieces to see if they were edible.

We missed Eli's family though. I Wish that both families lived closer. Sometimes I envy my friends who have in-laws that are close at hand. I really love my entire family and am blessed to have married an amazing guy with an equally mazing family.

So, except for missing my other parents Christmas all in all it was fun.

My boys

2007-12-02T19:19:00.000-08:00

Our oldest is now three years old. Wow how time flies. This little blond haired brown eyed boy is the most wonderful boy in the world. I can't believe how much I love and adore him. He is the most wonderful gift that God has ever given to me (well he and his little bro). Eli and I love them so much.

He is getting his first big boy bike for his birthday, and he is so excited. I think we are more excited though about giving it to him.

I don't know if anyone else feels this way. But before I had children, I never understood how people could say that they would rather themselves be pained than to watch their own children go through pain or that they could even die for their kids.

I guess I was just selfish, but now I realize how much I thought of myself back then and how very little I thought of others. Now when I look at both of my children, I know that I would lay down my life for them in a second, and it pains me to my core whenever they are hurt or sad or distressed.

So this is to my three year old and also to my one year old.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

In the Beginning...

2007-12-01T05:34:00.000-08:00

Who am I?

I am most importantly follower of Jesus.

I am also a mother and a wife.

And on the side I practice law.

People ask me: How do you reconcile practicing law, especially family law, with being a follower of Jesus. To me it's simple. Jesus said that (paraphrased) What you do to the least of these, you also do to me? I see my practice as an attempt to follow that simple rule. When people come in for legal advice, especially with family law, their lives are in shambles. I see my calling as an ability to help people through what may be the most horrendous time of their lives. Maybe to help them get some clarity, to be an ear or to simply help them navigate through the legal system.

I take my job very seriously and I hope that I am able to help them in some way. Often times, I can see that their is hope left for my clients, even if due to the seriousness of the issue they are unable to see it themselves.